Wally World

Sunday, May 02, 2010 2 Comments »
I don't know if you've seen the emails making the rounds called "People of WalMart" -- we are now up to PoW4.  Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE WalMart.  Especially now, when money is tight.  You have to admit, however, that there are a lot of people who don't exactly put their best fashion foot forward when doing a WalMart run.

I have a good friend who needed a laugh in the worst way, so I forwarded the email.  Then I sent her an account of my very first visit, many years ago.  She got such a kick out of it that she's persuaded me to post it here.  I hope no one is offended. 

My son went to school in a Indiana, PA.   It's in the western part of the state, at the foot of the Appalacian mountains. Other than the University, the population leans toward blue collar, on the lower economic end of the scale;  there is a segment of the population that could be called red neck.  Schools close down for the first day of deer huntin' season. If it's cold outside, most people wear plaid flannel shirts, cammo or orange hunting jackets. The town also has one of the very first super Walmarts ever built.

When we took Andy to school for the first time, we visited the local WalMart to get supplies. We had never been to one before, and here we were in a SUPER Walmart. There were lots of students/parents, but there were also a lot of natives -- portly women/men in skimpy NASCAR garb, 16 year old, pimpled couples with a baby stroller, a lot of hunters checking out the huntin' gear. For some, teeth were in short supply; tattoos were not. We were dressed in our best take-your-firstborn-to-college Land's End outfits.  You get the picture.

When we pulled into the parking lot, we saw an enormous bus that looked like a tour bus of some sort. It had various Bible verses on the sides in large letters as well as the word REPENT, and big crosses as decoration. The front of the bus said "The Christian Cowboy". Not my religious tradition, but one that I'm OK with.

Once we got into the store, we heard very loud gospel music and someone anouncing The Christian Cowboy over the loud speaker. Then we saw him. Right there, in the front of the store, just behind the checkout lines. The guy was in full cowboy regalia (10 gallon hat, high-heeled, pointy-toe boots, silver spurs), and clothing heavily decorated with silver-stud crosses & a picture of Jesus (in color) on the back of his leather cowboy jacket. He had tables in front of him dislpaying the various CDs he'd made, books he'd written, and assorted pamphlets. He was singing Amazing Grace. Loudly. It was hard not to gape.

Then we noticed he was wearing a cowboy-style leather holster, with a leather ammo belt across his body. Hubby &I both looked at each other, then back at the cowboy, then back at each other. Christan Cowboy -- holster? Ammo? What's wrong with this picture?  He must have seen us, looking like preppie tourists, staring at him. He looked me in the eye, reach for the hoslter, and pulled out A BIBLE, which he pointed at me like he would have pointed a gun. It was then that we noticed that all of the ammo slots in his ammo belt held tiny crosses. "Ya gotta be prepared to shoot that ol' devil", he shouted. Hard to argue with that!

We headed for the shampoo section & didn't know if we should laugh or cry. 

Although  that particular WalMart became a frequent haunt during our kids' years at IUP, we never saw that cowboy again.  We never stopped looking for him though!



Mrs. Goodneedle said...

My DIL has educated me about the PoW website, it's always funny and never disappoints. Your post today had me laughing so hard I almost fell out of my rolling chair... too, too funny; I can just SEE this happening. There's always something entertaining down at the Wally World!

Cindy said...

I always find it both amusing and sad how people dress to go to WalMart. Recently a friend of mine who had just gotton out of bed and still in PJ's said to me I'll go with you to WalMart I won't have to change. My response was no way are you going with me dressed like that and I left without her.